Foodless, musicless, godless?
(A slightly tongue in cheek response to everything suddenly getting really, really busy)
I was doing marriage prep with my fiancée the other day when…
Whoops, did I not mention that? Oh yeah. I got engaged. A while back, actually.
So anyway, I was doing marriage prep with my fiancée, here at our church in Bristol…
Oh, and I moved to Bristol, too. And stopped working for a church and started training as a teacher instead, come to think of it. And started subsisting on a bursary every month and commuting an hour and a half to Weston-super-Mare every day.
But hey, listen, enough about me. How are you doing?
You may have noticed that things have been a bit quiet around this blog lately, mostly because life got really busy and funds got a little less and priorities changed a bit. All of which feels like a necessary, valuable part of life, but then I had this conversation the other night about what happened to my hobbies (I am, it turns out, highly worried about waking up and realising that I am suddenly very boring) and I started to wonder about that too.
Of course, it’s fine to give yourself to work and to relationships, isn’t it, and maybe the time to blog is past anyway – after all, even if you do write it, who else has time to read it, we all have jobs now anyway – so perhaps you just accept that it’s time to let go. A new life stage, that kind of thing.
But then I started this blog as a way of thinking about things I love, and now the temptation is to turn it into a teacher blog instead (no kidding – it makes you more employable to prove that you’re digitally literate, not to mention distinctly less employable to write stuff like this). Only what that means is that you lose some of the things that used to make you come alive or they lose their vibrancy, at least, and that can’t be wholly a good thing. Everything becomes career development instead, work; a way of finding useful illustrations for your next lesson. Always a temptation, but not a good one.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is you shouldn’t read into my silence that I have become foodless, musicless and godless, because none of those things are true. I’ve just been trying to get up to speed with work, trying to figure out how to have a life on top of being a teacher and not losing your mind in the process. But I think I’m realising that a large part of that is in holding onto the things that give you life – like your relationships, and those things that give you that little shock of joy inside and the stuff that takes you outside of your introverted, isolated world.
Today, for example, it was the lightly toasted sourdough bread I bought at a knockdown price last night and that pretty much made my day. It sounds like a tiny thing, but the joy that something like that brings shouldn’t be underestimated.
Holding onto those things is invariably going to mean some reorientation, and the stripping away of some bad habits or the laziness and panic that often characterises a PGCE year. That’s okay though, I think, as all of this is a learning process anyway (life, I mean, not just a PGCE) and all of us have a long way to go.
For the sake of sanity and well being, I will try and hold onto these things.
You do too, okay? Because it’s been too long since we last did this, and, y’know… I’ve kind of missed it.