It’s been a hard year. There’s not much to be gained from going into more detail on that, but some days it feels like a victory just to make it to the end of the day. I find myself fighting against my own cynicism and trying to hold onto God in situations where He doesn’t always seem visible. Over time it gets to be pretty draining.
Tennyson wrote an amazing poem called Ulysses, which I’ve quoted over at this blog before, albeit in a different context. The final lines are these:
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield
I mention this because today I came across a talk I gave which was recorded last year at one of the youth groups I help with, and it sounds confident, bold, full of faith. I don’t feel that way at the moment, but listening to it again, I still believe what I said there. Deep down, buried somewhere, all of this is still there, and it’s not lost – although sometimes it can feel like it.
Listening to it again is like a remembering of who you are, what you know to be true deep within yourself, even if you may have forgotten it for a while. You can listen to it here if you’re interested.
On a different note, this is playing in the background as I write this post. I’d forgotten how amazing it is: